The elopement diaries – meet the couples who did the big day their way

The ostentatious table displays, the toe-curling speeches, the perplexing obsession with fascinators… Weddings, though intended as a celebration of love, can sometimes feel more like a performative art piece – and an increasingly expensive one. It’s no surprise, then, that a growing number of couples are choosing to opt out of mega ceremonies in favour of a low-fuss elopement. “Couples today are more intentional about their wedding experience. They crave luxury, intimacy and authenticity, and celebrations that reflect their personalities rather than societal expectations,” says London-based micro wedding and elopement planner Akilah Atiba-Davies, who has observed a shift towards smaller and more bespoke ceremonies.

Once defined by scandal, the modern-day elopement has been reinvented as a low-key – but no less romantic – choice. Many are essentially destination weddings, as couples opt for a private ceremony in lavish settings without the secrecy, says luxury wedding planner Jessie Westwood of Studio Sorores. “They want it to be meaningful as an experience.”

“There’s a lot of competitiveness around weddings, and it’s nice to just check out and do it completely on your own terms,” says film producer Olivia Cohen-Dyer, who ditched her big wedding plans to elope to Las Vegas last year. “I don’t want to be worrying that someone’s sat next to someone they hate or that the caterers are forgetting allergens – I deal with that at work anyway.” Here, meet four couples who got married their way…

Eloped to Las Vegas

Olivia Cohen-Dyer, London-based film producer, and James Cohen-Dyer, tax consultant

We originally wanted to get married in a vineyard in Kent, but we’re planning to buy a house this year. The more we spoke about it, the more we thought buying dinner for 200 people felt a bit silly. Plus, weddings are often a place where complicated family dynamics are exacerbated.

We had tacos and champagne and saw Dita von Teese perform at the Horseshoe casino

We decided to elope to Las Vegas as my best friend was getting married in Montecito, a six-hour drive away. I’ve always loved that American kitsch aesthetic and James is a really good sport, thank God. Five days after the Montecito wedding, we drove to Vegas. We stayed at Palms Casino – which stank of cheap perfume and cigarettes – and said our vows while getting ready together. I wore a Ganni dress and James rented a hot-pink suit, and we wore matching cowboy boots from Boot Barn – there was a “buy two, get a third free” deal so we got a pair of mini cowboy boots for a mini person who might join our lives one day.

We got married at the Little White Wedding Chapel, and sat in this pink Cadillac FaceTiming our friends back in London who were in their pyjamas because it was nighttime there. Then we got matching tattoos from the parlour across the road. After that, we had tacos and champagne at the fast-food restaurant Del Taco and saw Dita Von Teese perform at the Horseshoe casino – and then I had a hideous Something Blue cocktail back at the hotel. It was the perfect end to a perfect day.

Eloped to The Fife Arms, Scotland

Alex Pang, Edinburgh-based head of operations at a crypto company, and Steve Kenny, head of business development at a crypto company

I had always wanted to elope, but my now-husband Steve wasn’t very keen on the idea. We originally had a big wedding planned in 2022, but after we’d had our first son, Steve had totally come round. I guess with a baby we just had very different priorities. We didn’t want to spend £30,000-£40,000 on a wedding any more, or endure the pressure and the politics that came with it.

We wrote our vows side by side – that’s how relaxed it was

We got married at The Fife Arms last November, after having our second son. I grew up near Braemar and had always wanted to go, and our photographer said it was one of her favourite venues. On the wedding morning, we went for a beautiful breakfast and wrote our vows side by side – that’s how relaxed it was. We had the ceremony in the hotel’s Fire room, which they had decorated with flowers and candles, and the other hotel guests were waiting to see me, which was so lovely. We decided not to have our children there, which was tough in a way. But, ultimately, we wouldn’t have had a very good time, and they wouldn’t have enjoyed it – we would have just been parents in really nice outfits. I had their initials embroidered on my hair bow as well as paw prints of our dogs, so it felt like they were with us.

When I think about the original wedding we had booked, I felt quite stressed in general, whereas with this, I was beyond excited. We had the best time. It was really special that it was just us and we could have the day how we wanted.

Eloped to City Hall

Timothy Gibbons and Gabe Gordon

Timothy: We had talked about getting married late last year to facilitate living together a bit sooner (I’m from Belfast and Gabe is from Connecticut), but had put it off. Then one day I was looking at marriage licences at City Hall and a cancellation came up for the following day. We had just finished our show at NYFW and were exhausted and running on adrenaline, so we booked the marriage-licence appointment for 13 February, and had a marriage ceremony on Valentine’s Day at the Love Chapel, a Vegas-style chapel. Gabe’s mum came down from Connecticut and he had a framed photo of his dad, who passed five years ago, on one of the seats. I set up my mum on FaceTime on the seat beside. In the evening, we celebrated with a bunch of friends at Spa 88, a Russian bathhouse in Lower Manhattan. After the rush of the show, it felt so good just to chill out with our best friends – intimate and unfussy, and we didn’t have to spend loads of money.

Gabe: I’ve always felt anxiety around the idea of a wedding ceremony and being in front of all these people who matter so much to me. I think it stems from internalised homophobia. So there was something really peaceful and special about an impromptu day. Our rings weren’t even ready in time for the ceremony – we’d only ordered them when we booked the licence appointment – and we suddenly realised, fuck – we need rings! The designer ended up delivering them to the spa and we put them on while standing in our towels at the entrance. I just felt absolutely no stress, and so at ease and excited.

Eloped to Montana

Emily Lester, London-based airline pilot, and Jacob van Dijk, doctor in the Royal Netherlands Air Force

We’d never turn down the chance to host a good party, so when we got engaged, we planned a celebration with family and friends near Toulouse, where we first met. As neither of us is French (I’m British, and my now-husband Jacob is Dutch), we were advised to complete the legal part beforehand. This proved complicated for a couple with different residency statuses, and we had a trip booked to the Bitterroot Mountains in Montana, where Jacob was teaching a wilderness medicine course in a remote backcountry ski hut – so we looked into marrying there. We are both passionate about the mountains, and the state of Montana allows anyone to get a marriage licence for $53. One of my best friends (conveniently an excellent skier) agreed to become an ordained minister through the Universal Life Church and officiate the ceremony. One of Jacob’s best friends would act as a witness. 

We flew to Missoula, Montana, and drove our rental car as far as we could up the mountain, then switched to skis and sleds to lug our supplies the final mile. The next morning, I put on my ASOS dress and white salopettes, and we skinned up the mountain for 45 minutes until we found a spot with a good view. The ceremony was surreal: huge snowflakes began to fall as we exchanged our vows. With no audience to impress, everything felt incredibly intimate and unbelievably beautiful. We celebrated with champagne, then skied back to the lodge. Our wedding breakfast was a wild mushroom risotto that Jacob and I cooked, followed by mini Colin the Caterpillar cakes from the M&S at London Heathrow. The whole thing was so perfect that we questioned having a bigger celebration. In the end, we were very lucky to experience both.